I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
