Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.