Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
