Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.