Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy