Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  Two?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Two.

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  (404): Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs. (1-404): Two? (404): Two. http://tfl.nu/opzf
  Replies (260) Good night (4367) Bad night (78919)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna

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  (847): I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna http://tfl.nu/isgx
  Replies (7) Good night (1735) Bad night (2554)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.

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  (502): We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married. http://tfl.nu/ivvd
  Replies (1) Good night (1657) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  she looked like the before picture.

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  (540): she looked like the before picture. http://tfl.nu/zq32
  Replies (4) Good night (570) Bad night (3980)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.

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  (412): thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out. http://tfl.nu/825u
  Replies (14) Good night (3649) Bad night (790)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.

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  (716): He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready. http://tfl.nu/z83a
  Replies (9) Good night (4900) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.

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  (480): this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking. http://tfl.nu/0htm
  Replies (7) Good night (4228) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now

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  (760): i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now http://tfl.nu/mcne
  Replies (6) Good night (2266) Bad night (813)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?

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  (603): Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support? http://tfl.nu/jl5q
  Replies (7) Good night (620) Bad night (1707)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  the gays at disneyland are vicious

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  (916): the gays at disneyland are vicious http://tfl.nu/i9ir
  Replies (13) Good night (1778) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila

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  (267): At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila http://tfl.nu/iq3c
  Replies (0) Good night (311) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.

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  (225): I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams. http://tfl.nu/g2d9
  Replies (2) Good night (345) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?

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  (620): I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough? http://tfl.nu/xi1b
  Replies (4) Good night (538) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time

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  (248): How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time http://tfl.nu/txfn
  Replies (7) Good night (541) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.

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  (856): doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos. http://tfl.nu/roer
  Replies (0) Good night (420) Bad night (238)

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