Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  ; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up

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  (734); Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up http://tfl.nu/ecut
  Replies (4) Good night (1682) Bad night (666)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from

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  (973): my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from http://tfl.nu/ptif
  Replies (69) Good night (7793) Bad night (1092)
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!

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  (980): i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter! http://tfl.nu/tgxr
  Replies (48) Good night (5580) Bad night (853)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.

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  (561): Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game. http://tfl.nu/593t
  Replies (28) Good night (899) Bad night (5468)
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  (310): View more from California

  He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.

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  (310): He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical. http://tfl.nu/e9fk
  Replies (12) Good night (4540) Bad night (925)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."

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  (907): She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in." http://tfl.nu/4iy3
  Replies (24) Good night (5254) Bad night (1197)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  the room spins SO much faster in panama

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  (513): the room spins SO much faster in panama http://tfl.nu/zlx7
  Replies (5) Good night (2569) Bad night (1003)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe

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  (479): We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe http://tfl.nu/vo7i
  Replies (3) Good night (1849) Bad night (807)
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  (347): View more from New York

  When are you not under some influence?

  (917): View more from New York City

  Since last Tuesday...yesterday.

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  (347): When are you not under some influence? (917): Since last Tuesday...yesterday. http://tfl.nu/zuz3
  Replies (3) Good night (1599) Bad night (747)
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  (949): View more from California

  I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.

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  (949): I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled. http://tfl.nu/99xj
  Replies (5) Good night (1614) Bad night (1175)
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  (631): View more from New York

  did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?

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  (631): did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic? http://tfl.nu/zced
  Replies (5) Good night (2162) Bad night (668)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum

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  (610): i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain (215): replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum http://tfl.nu/e0rs
  Replies (2) Good night (1671) Bad night (668)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.

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  (702): Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself. http://tfl.nu/5shw
  Replies (3) Good night (869) Bad night (435)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  When was the last time you wore pants?

  (214): View more from Texas

  Time is relative.

  (214): View more from Texas

  And pants are optional.

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  (817): When was the last time you wore pants? (214): Time is relative. (214): And pants are optional. http://tfl.nu/5cz1
  Replies (1) Good night (1099) Bad night (388)
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  (530): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other

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  (530): I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other http://tfl.nu/k3vc
  Replies (1) Good night (783) Bad night (221)

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