Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?

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  (614): Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something? http://tfl.nu/rkwq
  Replies (29) Good night (776) Bad night (3586)
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  (415): View more from California

  She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.

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  (415): She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver. http://tfl.nu/1xbw
  Replies (39) Good night (936) Bad night (4491)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?

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  (253): is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator? http://tfl.nu/votk
  Replies (50) Good night (1701) Bad night (8768)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds

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  (931): I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds http://tfl.nu/gekw
  Replies (20) Good night (1219) Bad night (3626)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.

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  (917): its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny. http://tfl.nu/2ipn
  Replies (10) Good night (883) Bad night (4312)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville

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  (647): Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville http://tfl.nu/omyo
  Replies (13) Good night (3182) Bad night (1092)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.

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  (859): I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you. http://tfl.nu/a48g
  Replies (14) Good night (5577) Bad night (2196)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.

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  (541): I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me. http://tfl.nu/2bgd
  Replies (9) Good night (2897) Bad night (1350)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?

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  (920): did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve? http://tfl.nu/wzep
  Replies (3) Good night (1079) Bad night (2824)
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  (310): View more from California

  only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man

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  (310): only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man http://tfl.nu/g1rm
  Replies (12) Good night (3321) Bad night (1112)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.

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  (419): We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful. http://tfl.nu/rk3h
  Replies (6) Good night (1112) Bad night (444)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint

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  (519): He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint http://tfl.nu/uh8l
  Replies (2) Good night (633) Bad night (416)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.

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  (832): I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem. http://tfl.nu/pseu
  Replies (7) Good night (531) Bad night (445)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves

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  (772): its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves http://tfl.nu/3m9t
  Replies (3) Good night (575) Bad night (298)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass

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  (508): I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass http://tfl.nu/mz48
  Replies (3) Good night (410) Bad night (660)

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