Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.

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(301): View more from Maryland

soooo we both peed the bed last night...

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(915): View more from Texas

When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(301): View more from Maryland

My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?

(1-503): View more from Oregon

yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.

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(587): View more from Alberta

Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap

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(863): View more from Florida

Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.

(813): View more from Florida

You always make things weird.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.

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