Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  never play flip cup with pint glasses

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  (503): never play flip cup with pint glasses http://tfl.nu/n0k9
  Replies (13) Good night (2335) Bad night (1102)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out

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  (440): planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out http://tfl.nu/zgao
  Replies (22) Good night (1636) Bad night (3516)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar

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  (913): we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar http://tfl.nu/z6em
  Replies (14) Good night (4169) Bad night (810)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud

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  (863): just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud http://tfl.nu/54kw
  Replies (11) Good night (4904) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.

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  (209): I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two. http://tfl.nu/goqt
  Replies (14) Good night (5195) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.

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  (773): Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket. http://tfl.nu/bfmy
  Replies (22) Good night (3946) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (228): View more from Mississippi

  She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her

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  (228): She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her http://tfl.nu/4rsn
  Replies (15) Good night (3394) Bad night (1643)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"

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  (+44): Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far" http://tfl.nu/vzxo
  Replies (7) Good night (4397) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.

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  (425): she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco. http://tfl.nu/8uv1
  Replies (19) Good night (6784) Bad night (936)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.

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  (207): At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism. http://tfl.nu/nn7l
  Replies (9) Good night (2103) Bad night (796)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.

  (1-304): View more from West Virginia

  Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.

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  (304): I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us. (1-304): Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat? (304): No there was a goat. I gave it a donut. http://tfl.nu/bds8
  Replies (15) Good night (6527) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab

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  (719): I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab http://tfl.nu/ysz3
  Replies (8) Good night (809) Bad night (1459)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.

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  (208): You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago. http://tfl.nu/c2e3
  Replies (6) Good night (1433) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.

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  (219): Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel. http://tfl.nu/qebb
  Replies (8) Good night (2192) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened

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  (616): We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink (1-616): Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened http://tfl.nu/0an5
  Replies (1) Good night (889) Bad night (213)

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