I love black thongs
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.