ya dads aren't the best wingmen
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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