Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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