oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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