he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I have post one night stand depression
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