If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I stole a fireplace last night.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize