i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would ride that face into the sunset
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize