I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
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I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
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I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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