Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize