we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
