I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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