i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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