end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
