I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
