nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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