"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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