I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
