He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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