My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
