I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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