I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize