Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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