I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
