You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
