So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
