when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
