My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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