found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
