I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
