dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
