did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize