...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
A+ Viking dick
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
