She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
