Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
wow bdsm is so cute
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize