wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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