He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
But break dance skills will only take you so far
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
