Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
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You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
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Everyone says I win the strip club
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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