just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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