When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
