Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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