hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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