my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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