I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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