sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
