And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
