dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
