Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
