i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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