Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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