I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
