this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Randomize
