kristin has been a bad kristin
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
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