I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Randomize
