You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
