I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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